So our group after a two month break and some training to strengthen their ability to survive the grim and perilous world received their payment for hunting down the Captian and bringing him to Thagus, as well as a fat bonus for helping with the little issue the Hand was having with some Internal Restructuring.
As promised they received some additional ancient dwarvin coins as well as 25 gold each for their hand in “a thief’s punishment.” Dolsin was also able to get a lead on getting the map translated from Ancient dwafish however, it means leaving the city. JESUS SUFER’N FUCK!
So the group made arrangements, bought supplies and soon found themselves on a sea elf river barge.
The person whom would be able to translate this is some kind of hermit that lives in the grey mountains to the south west. Since he has forsaken city life and seems to have survived this long in the wilds their only option was to go to him. He gave them directions on how to find him … but as our group of heros will soon realize, they are vague at best and may be useless. Never the less our Heros decided to set out with a list of supplies and a hunting dog.
The fist day on the boat was not to bad as it was spent almost entirely inside the city walls. Dolsin was able to get them on board and all they had to do was pull their weight in order to hitch the ride.
Their were shown 6 use full and all important knots for sailing: while also shown what duties they would be expected to preform while on board. Though it did seem that none of them were cut out for life at sea…
The lot of them got ill from the strange motion of being on the water but, no so ill ass Dora. She brought her insides out and on the the deck on a daily basis. Well the days she made it out of bed. But as it luck would have it on the final day she had acquired her sea legs and was feeling much better. After travelling down river for five days they asked to be let off as this was approximately where they would need to get off in order to attempt to find the first land mark.
Unfortunately with out any docks present the barge could only get so close to the shore. This meant that the group would have to jump for it. It was a long jump and they had to jump as none of them know how to swim and the boat could not anchor.
Our witty and cleaver group of heros came up with a cleaver plan, or so they thought. Since Funky was not able to come close to jumping the distance needed they decided to tie a rope around her waist and Dolsin’s. Seeing as how he would have had the easiest time clearing the distance.
Well he made his move … with all the elvin grace he could muster, which as it turns out was very little, he sprang in to the air but his thrusting foot slipped up and he only cruised a few feet into the water. He panicked! The others stood on the boat amazed that he did not make it and started to wonder how they would. Before any one realized it Yoink!! Funky was pulled in to the water by the rope that joined her to Dolsin. Since the boat never stopped moving She got yanked hard. Of corse she could not swim either. wa wa wa waaaaaa!
The loyal dog known only as “dog” was excited to see his master “dive” into the water he leapt in as well and started to swim towards he flailing Halfling master barely keeping herself from drowning.
The other two had a different plan and that was to tie all the packs together and jump across. After Dora saw that … she snatched up her pack, threw it over her shoulders and mad mad dash with a leap of faith for the shore line. While in mid air she exposed her ever impressive breasts with the awe-inspiring tattoo dedicated to Sigmar bouncing with the movement of her tits (giving the comet life as if it was soaring towards the earth. With an unbelievable skill almost as if she were nudged through the air by the had of Sigmar she landed on dry ground.
Sigrich’s eyes widened for two reasons: one he loves how Dora is always exposing her breasts in prayer to sigmar, and for the fact that she made the leap. After his eyes stopped teir bulging and he was able to put the wood away he finished tying the gear together with one of the knots that he had learned in the past week. He stood up and started to make the jump. With all his might, focus, and desperation he leapt off the side of the ship. He kept moving his legs as if he were running on air, yet it had little effect but it was just enough .. he made the didstance. But when he turned to pull the gear off the boat the rope ran tight and ZIIING he was yanked form the shore line into the water. He too Panicked!!! wa wa wa waaaaaaa!
Dora quickly dropped her pack and ran to cut a tall vut narrow sapling down from the forrest line. She ran back and was able to pull the elf and the halfling out of the water. But then Dolsin did a heroic thinig… he looked at Sigrich and with out concern for his own health tossed a length of the rope that was no longer tied to Funky and said hold this… ran toward the edge and lept in to the river to help his friend and comrade. Unfortunately in his eagerness to help ho over shot the jump and landed right on top of Sigrich and broke his nose and some ribs. Sigrich started to drown.
Dorah still with her breasts exposed looped the rope around her arm and pulled and Dolsin hit the scribe full force in the face and chest. As the line tightened in her grip the breasts bulged and flexed bringing her tattoo alive with movement once more. For a moment she even thought they started to lactate under the strain of the two panicking, drowning, fools on the other end of the line. With all her might she was able to pull the two to shore and the four of them were able to hoist their water soaked gear to shore.
Now cold and wet they were able to put together a small fire and sit praying for warmth an wondering WTF they were going to do in the wilds as they watched the barge disappear into the river bends. There was no going back now… there is only forward…DUM DUM DUMMMMM! zoloft without prescriptiom, costco pharmacy prices levitra.